Thoughts from a Washed Up Collegiate Triathlete

It’s hard to believe I just completed my last Collegiate Club Nationals. The past year has flown by, filled with triathlon, good times, and great people. Life will always have its ups and downs, but it’s been an amazing year. As it starts to sink in that my collegiate career is over, I took the opportunity to look back at the long road to my firstie year nationals.

Plebe Year:

Plebe year I didn’t go to Nationals for triathlon, or for anything. I swam for West Point, and I only vaguely knew the triathlon team existed. I had done some triathlons in high school but I thought that part of my life was over, or at least on hold. I was swimming, doing sort of okay in the Patriot League Conference and generally just trying to figure out West Point. Looking back, I did not have any athletic peaks, but I did learn a lot. The first year away from home is very developmental, and I was rebranding myself within this new environment I had chosen. I was also starting to learn that swimming was not that fun anymore. I look back on that year and wonder why I thought it was normal to dread going to practice. If you currently feel that way about your sport--that’s not normal, or healthy. It’s okay to have a few off days, but your sport should give you joy and release, not added stress. Additionally, I did not take much ownership over my own athletic progression. I showed up to practice, completed the set written for me, and rolled out. Now, each practice is an investment in my goals. I care about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, and I try to be very deliberate with workouts.

Yuk Year:

Yearling year I was still swimming on the team. I was having an okayish season until I injured my shoulder. I kicked practices for several weeks. By December I was seriously considering quitting. I was afraid of my best event--the 200 Butterfly. At our conference championships I knew in my heart that this was my last meet. I swam my last 200 Fly in a best time, and burst into tears of relief immediately after. My swimming career was over.

But two weeks later my collegiate triathlon career began.

I asked the captain of the triathlon team if he would consider allowing me to race nationals with the team. The team was incredibly generous and welcomed my broken shoulder and low cardio fitness. My first practice on the team we did hill reps on the bike. I was so out of shape I thought I was going to pass out. But it was FUN. I was excited. I raced nationals 8 weeks after quitting swimming. I was still kind of a wreck and my shoulder was still hurt, but I felt like I was back. I felt like I was an athlete again, and I was ready for more.

Cow Year:

Cow year was my first full year on the triathlon team. When I swam I got so lost in my own head--my relationship with swimming was based on fear. I swam my events; I didn’t race them. Cow year I learned how to race again--how to crave winning rather than fear losing. I invested in my own training and in my new passion. The week of nationals cow year was rough for me for a variety of reasons, and the race was fairly emotional. As selfish as it sounds, that race was not for my triathlon family, it was just for me. I did far better than I ever expected to do with my fitness level. I am so proud of that race, and I think that’s okay--we should feel proud of the victories we fought hard for.

Firstie Year:

Almost four years of buildup brings us to today. This year triathlon moved up on my priority list. I competed in several pro races over 2017 and learned so much from all the amazing women that I get to compete against. I had been fairly public about my goals for collegiate nationals this year. In my last year, I wanted to crush it--for myself and for my team. It went horribly in a lot of ways--travel delays forced the team to sleep in the airport on the way to Alabama, and the race was changed to a duathlon. The situation was not ideal, and I did not get the win that I had wanted. But I won in so many other ways--my family was there, my team was there, and I was healthy and happy. I can look back at the last four years and see how far I’ve come, and how much farther I want to go. I have learned so much through triathlon, not just about sport but about mental strength, leadership, and the power of relationships. I have come so far since yuk year when I thought a 10k run sounded long and 2 hours on the bike seemed endless. This isn’t the end by any means, but it’s valuable to look back and admire the view.